Justice system

I'm going to take a moment to write about something that is very off topic. I, however, believe it is very important. It's not just important because it deals directly with my family, but it is important because it can happen to any of you reading this.

If you recall this post, back in April, my family was in a state of shock. As unbelievable as it still seems when I think about it, the reality is really setting in - and I miss my uncle very much. I miss seeing him, I miss laughing and joking with him, I miss him interacting with my kids, especially Landon. Landon still doesn't really understand, but he still asks about Uncle Richie quite a bit. All they would do when they were together was joke, laugh, punch, one another. Uncle Richie was notorious to be the instigator and sit back and laugh. A laugh I long to hear so badly.

My grandma lost her youngest of five children, her baby. Her child. My aunt Michi, lost her high school sweetheart. They would have celebrated 20 years of marriage this past July 8th. My cousins lost their strongest mentor, their father. And the list continues. A very long list continues and trickles to everyone who knew and loved him.

The reason for this post is to shed a little light to those who are interested how screwed up our justice system is. I know legislature is written, and we need to stand by and abide by the law. But, now, I question - why? I'm not going to go out and commit acts to challenge the law, I just wonder what kind of image we are giving youth.

Facts regarding this case:

- My uncle was on his own property, walking to retrieve his mail.
- Alfredo Antonio Ramirez hit and killed him, and ran.
- Witness saw Alfredo drive recklessly, run stop signs/lights, speed and 'stagger' blocks away as he went to inspect damage to his vehicle (aka his weapon of choice)
- Alfredo turned himself in days later (we believe to evade signs of alcohol in his system)
- Alfredo was TEXTING before, during and after the incident (records prove this)
- His family lied to authorities
- Alfredo was NOT remorseful, and judge even made a point in court about it
... and the list continues with SO much more incriminating information.

Alfredo Antonio Ramirez's punishment:
2 years in state prison, 3-4 yrs parole and restitution paid to the family

This equals approx 288 days actual time served. He will be walking amongst us as a citizen, next year.

N-E-X-T Y-E-A-R

You can read the Daily Bulletin article that made front cover detailing this past Tuesday.

My uncle died in 2009, and the man who took his life in such a senseless manner will be free in 2010. This past Tuesday, July 22, was the sentencing. We knew ahead of time the max would be 2 years, there was a possibility of him just getting probation. I will save the details of the court, and the heartwrenching testimony from my grandma, aunt and 2 cousins. Basically, the judge imposed the most he could given the plea bargain, 2 year max, etc. The judge actually brought forth details of the fateful night that he did not know prior to offering the plea bargain. He also acknowledged the families pain, and informed us Antonio does not seem remorseful, which was obvious. He also read over 100 impact statement letters we all wrote, including friends of how his death has impacted us.

A slap on the wrist for such a terrible crime. Alfredo had many choices that evening. He continued to choose the wrong ones. Choices that have forever changed the lives of so many. I don't understand how posession of marijuana, selling of marijuana, drugs, etc.. can bring a higher sentence than a LIFE taken. One of God's creations, as my aunt stated it. My uncle was a beautiful person, inside and out and he is worth much more than the punishment that is being given to the person who took his beautiful life. It's still so raw, and upsetting, and now after the sentencing, I see how our system works. And, sorry, but it sucks.

I do know however what punishment does not get met here through our system, will one day be met. I truly believe that. Until then, our family will be a voice to try to get some changes with our system. Because we are not the first, and sadly, not the last. The strict punishment comes when someone has killed 2, 3 or even 4 people on seperate occasions. Alfredo will be out one day, and he is a threat because of the lack of remorse. Odds are, he will be back in prison. And that is such a shame.

Uncle Richie, you are loved and missed! My kids will know you through my stories, and my pictures and my videos of you and that breaks my heart.


Fun times w/ 2 aunts, 1 uncle and a load of cousins! This was taken just this past January '09. My uncle is in the hat.


This is a pic of me and my dad and Troy. I am sharing this with you because this was the last day I saw my uncle, and from what I hear, the last day many of us family members saw him. We all spent the day at the racetrack, and close to 48 hours later, my uncle was taken from us. I was so happy on this day, my dad was happy, and we were all together. My grandfather's death was still so fresh for my dad and my aunts and uncles. It was a good day, and the last picture on my camera before our lives turned upside down 2 days later. It's kind of the 'old us' in a way if that makes sense. We are the same, but changed. Sadly I didn't get a pic of my uncle on this day, but I have the memory of this day, and our last hug.

Hold your family longer when giving hugs. I wish I had. It also reminds me to please look over the petty, and embrace the time you have with your loved ones.

We love you Unlce Richie, you will never be forgotten, or less treasured.

"True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Exhausted and hopeful!

I've been getting emails about the convention, and yes, we are back. I have so much to do, am in complete denial of the luggage staring at me in the face, and in even more denial of the mounds of laundry. I really need to get all my stuff done before I start posting. We got home close to 11pm last night, and Gavin's teacher was here this morning, so it's been a hectic day and so much to do.

Convention was awesome. Familes we met were great. The information we got was overwhelming and helpful.

I will post more later!

Gavin cracking himself up

Rainforest Cafe

Me and the boys had a great lunch yesterday at Rainforest Cafe. We went to meet other families with visually impaired children. I had only an hour and a half to sit with them before we had to be back on the freeway to beat the traffic, since we were at South Coast Plaza. I always seem to get caught in horrible traffic with both kids in the car.

I explained to Landon since this would be a glimpse of our big weekend this weekend. He has never really been around other children his age who are visually impaired. It was nice to see the kids acting like kids. Vision or no vision.

Anyone can attest with a 9 month old active baby, restaurants aren't always the most relaxing time! Gavin didn't want to sit still, and didn't want me to sit still either. I was able to take 5 bites of my salad and steal a few fries from Landon and exchange a few words with the other moms and kids. I wish I had more time to get to know them, but they will all be there this weekend at the NAPVI International Conference. We leave tomorrow, and can't wait to get away! We are getting away with the kids, it will be our first little trip with both of them. Can't wait!

As we were rushing to the car, I rolled the stroller under the sign, threw Landon in there and this is what I got. Not the greatest, but oh well. This is what happens when anxiety takes over anticipating traffic and me running late to my bowling league. lol!

Blind Children's Learning Center

Today, Gavin and I went to the Blind Children's Learning Center in Santa Ana. I went to meet with the Director, as well as an Occupational Therapist. Since 85% of what a baby learns is done visually, it is very important Gavin is stimulated properly and even more important I am aware of exactly what needs to be done at home. Vestibular stimulation is at the top of the list of importance. That part of the brain needs to be active, even though he is not getting it visually.

His teacher through the district has been wonderful. Each week Gavin is making progress. He is a stubborn little sucker! Not surprised, so was his brother. ;)

I am hoping along with the other services he is receiving (including from the Braille Institute), we will continue to keep him on track, and on the road to giving him all avenues of exploration.

The services through BCLC are not paid for by the state. I tell ya, learning the system, and figuring what services he should be qualified for, what is 'low incidence' and how they determine that, along with me keeping up to date with what I know I need to fight for, is a lot! Everything is kind of learned as we go. I have had a great support, with some wonderful new friends who have been and are where we are. They are helping to guide me through this. You seriously can get totally lost and confused. I still am!

If anyone has any kind of input with the 'system' and services blind/VI children can qualify for, please email me. I am keeping an ongoing record of my findings, so I can make sure to share with others along the way.

Ben Underwood, rest peacefully

I had no idea when I posted this blog post, Ben had already passed away. I don't recall hearing about his passing, and was so saddened to read about it just today. I heard about Ben's story before Gavin was even born. I was much more appreciative of him after learning of Gavin's vision impairment.

Ben displayed courage, goodness and inspiration.

Born a healthy baby, Ben lost his eyes to cancer at age 3. To quote his mom:

"Ben awake from the surgery and said "Mom I can't see anymore, I can't see anymore, Oh mom I can't see." Words of wisdom spoken to me from my pastors wife, sister Devon, "Don't let him feel your fears." After praying for strength and receiving from God, I said, "Ben YES YOU CAN SEE" and I took his little hands and put them on my face and said, "See me, you can see me with your hands," next, I put my hand to his nose and said, "Smell me, you can see me with your nose," then I said, "Hear me, you can see me with your ears, you can't use your eyes anymore, but you have your hands, your nose, and your ears." I tell this one thing, Ben has been seeing ever since."

Been had been cancer free, until cancer took his life this past January. The cancer returned to his sinus cavity, and chemo did not work.

Ben's life can be read here.

I cannot begin to imagine his mother's struggle. I applaud her strength in not letting Ben's condition hold him back, but rather she used it as a gift. He taught himself the skill of 'echolocation', what is used by bats and dolphins. Truly remarkable and worth a peek at the video.

Thank you Ben. You inspired me. Thank you to his mother, you have reminded me to be a fighter and are leading by example.

I often think of Ben, and will continue to honor him by keeping his fight alive, and have it serve as a reminder, "If Ben can do it, we all can do it."

Christmas in July

This is a little off the topic of what I typically post about, but I felt it was important.

I started this when Landon was born, because I was so thankful for him, and I wanted to help other children. It's not big, but I know to that one child, it can make their day. For that reason, we do it every year, and it is now our tradition. I'm excited to share this with Gavin this year, even though he won't really understand what is going on, since he is so young. I want to set the precedence with my boys to be kind and thoughful of others, and to also show them how VERY lucky they are to have all they do, including love from their parents and family, a safe home, as well as toys to call their own to play with.

Every year we pick a handful of kids at Hillview Acres Children's Home and we buy them Christmas gifts. The one thing that I LOVE about this, is the children make a wish list, and you actually personally can buy them their favorite toy! It's awesome. Every year they post their wish list online (you can view last years here). I got to thinking, and for them to get the help they need, along with their necessities is great, along with the support from the home. But all these kids are just like the rest of the children, and want the "cool" toy or "in style" clothes, right? I know these are materialistic items, but they bring them joy and when I think of where these children come from, absolutely breaks my heart.

This is what we do, and this is why I'm sharing this in July.

We have a piggy bank. Landon puts coins in his bank everyday, this is loose change, etc. To date, we have over $50 and we still have a few months. I always have Landon pick a boy his age, and one he finds shares his same interests (usually superheroes). Most of the time it's also a toy he wants for Christmas, but this is all part of providing for others and teaching him to act unselfishly. He does it very generously, and honestly, the past 3 years, since he was 2 years old, he has never cried for the gift he is giving to someone else. He loves it!

I typically buy for the older kids as well, because I don't want them to feel left out, and the teenagers need to feel the love too. You will see, some of them ask for the simplest pleasures, soft, fuzzy slippers and PJ's.

You can start this tradition with your children if you are looking for something to help others through the holidays. I'm hoping we will have close to around $90 in loose change by the holidays, which is what we usually have. Troy and I also match that, and me and Landon have a blast shopping for these kids! You don't actually get to meet the children, but on Christmas morning, I am filled with happiness seeing my child open gifts, as well as knowing I'm helping a few others experience the same joy - they so greatly deserve.

Landon and I talk about our Christmas kids throughout the year, and he asks questions about the ones we have previously bought for, and we often wonder what has come about them. You don't realize the impact you are setting for your child, he STILL talks about Angel, a little boy from 2007 we bought for. STILL!

Throw your loose change in a jar, and do this whenever you see some laying around. I guarantee you will have more than enough to make Christmas morning a magical one for even ONE child with just ONE gift.